Condemned Hope
by timekeeper1824
Summary: AU: Hope has deserted me. It has never been there. I feel fear constantly. Then you came along and I felt terrified....because I started to feel something else. You interrupted my life with your existence. Why are you here? Why am I starting to feel again
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey everyone, this is a new story that I have written and it is not a oneshot surprisingly. I would like to dedicate this story to my sister because she has had a hard and difficult time this past year. This story was written to remind everyone who is going through something difficult that hope never fades away and will always be there. The light is waiting at the end of the tunnel to shine good fortune upon you. This story holds a special place in my heart and I would love it if you would read it and review. Reviews are much appreciated. Enjoy!

timekeeper1824

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**Condemned Hope**

**by timekeeper1824**

**Chapter I- Angles Are Nonexistent**

For as long as I can remember, I have never let anyone in. I was afraid that if they knew what was really going on with me, they would desert me. Also, I was terrified that I would end up drowning them in my pain, sufferings, and misery as well. I was and still remain an isolated person. I wasn't always like this, I used to feel other emotions. Not anymore. I had a best friend named Kairi; but that was all before the accident. After the accident was when I shut down and pushed everything close to me as far away as possible including Kairi.

Now, I don't even know what happiness is anymore. Scratch that. Actually, I feel happiness with rarity. I feel joy when I write. Having a pen in hand and being able to make words fly across the paper is my happiness. My words paint the paper with color, texture, and emotion. It's a piece of art itself. Writing is an escape from the hell that I live in. No darkness, despair, or pain. Just a place where only what is written by me is the true events happening and nothing else. For me, what I write are pictures put into words. New things added each time. It is bliss to get lost inside your own head when writing, Well, for me at least it is bliss.

But not everything can be blissful. Sadly, the bliss has to come to an end. And for me, the bliss doesn't last as long as I would like it to. Torture, darkness, despair, and pain always interrupts what little calm I have and the protection and comfort I settle into with the sound of my pen scratching the surface of the stiff paper.

When my moment of genuinely feeling at peace and safe is brought back to reality, fear comes crashing down like a tidal wave. No more am I treading water but I am drowning in it. I need an angel to save me, but the angel I hope for never comes. I am still being swallowed by the dark abyss and evil everyday. I have been hoping for this angel to come and rescue me for almost three years now. Nothing. I'm starting to believe that angels never really existed. They were only brought to life by the imagination of people who had faith and hope. They don't exist to me anymore. They never came to my aid when I called them in my times of desperation. I've been left alone to rot away into nothingness. No angel can save me now.

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I woke up with the sun glaring into my bedroom through the windows. My room was on the east side of the house so I was always greeted by the dangerous, orange orb. I hated the sun; it mocked me every morning because it reminded me that it was the beginning of another day with its daily ritual. The sun reminded me of what was to come. However, I held a small part of gratefulness for the mocking sun, for it always helped me to rise with its early rays. 

I stretched my arms above my head wincing slightly and hopped out of the comfort of my bed. Carefully walking across the carpeted floor, I reached my closet. I stripped down out of my sleepwear and proceeded to pick out my clothes for the day. I pulled down a dark crimson long-sleeved cashmere sweater and a pair of dark jeans. I grabbed a belt and weaved it through the pant loops. Belts were a must. I needed them to hold up my pants. Nothing ever fit my properly or right.

Sighing, I tiptoed over to the dresser mirror and looked over my appearance. The sweater hung off of my small frame just the way I liked it. Reaching down, I picked up the hair brush and began to glide the bristles through the strands of my hair. I set the brush back down to its rightful place and looked back up into the mirror. Two dull sapphire eyes stared back at my pale complexion. My blonde hair rested below my shoulder blades, shielding my bare neck from the cruel sun.

I glanced away from the mirror, not able to look at myself for a moment longer. What I saw was a fragile being. I girl whose eyes only reflected pain, suffering and most definitely fear. I saw the ghost of a girl; only a mere existence.

_Stop it Naminé. You need to go to school now. You're five minutes behind schedule. You can't fall behind._

Clearing my head, I took my backpack off its hook and grabbed my prized possessions as well before heading out the door. I never left without them, my journal and pen. It was apart of me. I wrote only in pen in my sacred book. I wanted to keep the words engraved in the pages permanently. The ink was comforting because it sunk into the depths of the pages, never getting the chance to fade away and disappear. It was a constant.

I walked as quietly as I could down the stairs, past the kitchen and opened the front door soundlessly. I never ate breakfast at my house; I always skipped it. I would wait until lunch to finally eat.

With the sun beginning to rise steadily higher into the morning sky, I began my walk to Twilight Town's high school, Hope High School. I glanced down at my wrist that held the intricate watch. 6:35a.m. I was usually out of the house by 6:30 but I was behind my schedule. Thirty minutes later, Hope High School came into view. Personally, I liked to call it Hopeless High. I gave up on hope a long time ago.

The school grounds had a courtyard and a large beautifully sculpted water fountain in front of the building. Seven towers were in the middle of the fountain gracefully releasing water from their spouts. Six out of the seven towers had vines dappled with forget-me-nots wrapped all the way around the ivory marble. On top of the six towers were carved gardenias. The petals of each flower served as the openings for the water to flow.

The seventh tower was in the center of the circle of the other six. It raised high above all the others, superior to them. I disliked the seventh tower of water and marble. The other six were simple and plain, but were what made the fountain serene and attractive. The seventh one had an angel perched atop of it. The angel was beautifully grotesque and disturbing. His wings were open as if he was to leave his stand and any moment and his hands were grasping the edges of the tower. He was crouched ready to leap into the heavens, his eyes cast skyward.

I was filled with a wave of nausea every time I saw him. He reminded me of my long abandoned hope and my belief that he is nonexistent. He never came to save me.

No matter how much I loathed the angel, I was drawn to the rest of the fountain; it serves as my sanctuary and safe haven. It is where I come to write to escape all that surrounds me.

I walked up to the fountain's ledge and sat at my designated spot in front of the fourth tower. The fourth tower was in the center of the walkway and nearest to the stairs that led into the school. I saw down and began to write, the sound of the water flow becoming a symphony as I wrote.

_Hope is lost_

_He no longer is real_

_Hope has faded into the oblivion_

_To the point of no return_

_No one can save hope_

_For he has been condemned to death_

_Hope has failed to fulfill his promise_

_He did not provide the strength and protection _

_That was asked of him_

_When hope fades away_

_So does his comrade trust_

_Hope has given up on you_

_And in doing so_

_He brought his death upon himself_

I closed my journal and placed my pen in the space where the spine was opened. When I looked up, I realized I was no longer alone. Students had started to arrive. Sighing, I stood up and began to walk up the steps.

It was the beginning of another day, the beginning of the same routine.

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Meanings behind some of the objects:

Forget-me-nots: type of flower- true love; memories

Gardenias-type of flower- secret love

7-the most magically powerfull number

4- the 4th dimension time which is illusion. Wholeness, totality, and completion. The 4 elements (water, fire earth, and air)

2nd A/N: Well, did you enjoy the chapter? Hate it? Please tell me what you think of if. This is my second attempt at a multi-chapter story. No flames though. You can also leave me suggestions if you want. But mostly, I want to hear you opinion on the story so far. Thanks for reading.

timekeeper1824


	2. Boundaries Crossed and Confusion

**A/N: My goodness! I only got one review and many people read the story. Why didn't you review? Reviews are greatly appreciated and are very pleasant for an author to read. When I do get reviews, they inspire me to write and continue with my story. So please review this time. It would make my day! **

**Dedication: this story is once again dedicated to my sister and to all who have had hard and difficult times in their lives. Hope does exist, and even though darkness may seem like the only thing in your life, there is light not to far away. Light and darkness are never to far apart. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, they belong to Sqare Enix and Disney.**

**please read and review **

**timkeeper1824**

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Condemned Hope

Chapter II- Boundaries Crossed and Confusion

Torture; that is what school is. It is a living hell when you are surrounded by peers that scorn, judge, and harass you; especially when the person that is constantly harassed is me. Of course, I should be used to the fact that no one has ever saved me from the harassment. Not even Kairi. Then again, she no longer talks to me since I pushed her away. We do acknowledge each other but we don't do anything more than nod our heads.

Other than being harassed at school, I love it. I enjoy some parts of it like English. Ms. Lockhart is probably the only person I talk to. She is one constant in my life that I can count on but I hold part of me back from her. I haven't told her what goes on in my life. Tifa and I only discuss writing and reading.

Trust is an issue that is a part of me. I don't trust anyone. I won't allow anybody in to know the real me because I am afraid and I don't trust them to understand. Trust also is a part of hope. If I don't believe in hope, then I refuse to believe in trust. It has only betrayed me for my whole life. Why should I trust anyone with my secrets and my life?

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost didn't hear the heavy footfall approaching me. I glanced over my shoulder and gasped.

_No. Not today. Please don't let it happen today. _

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my precious Naminé," a cold voice that I have grown to fear whispered in my ear.

"Go away, Seifer," I said in an inaudible tone.

"Aw, come on babe, I haven't had any fun in awhile, I miss the old times" Seifer said, while pushing my back roughly against the locker.

I winced from the impact. I was shaking badly. He was too close; he was trespassing my boundaries that I around me constantly. No one dared to cross that boundary besides him. I didn't like the way his dark eyes were looking at me.

I tried to move away from him but he threw me back again and pinned my wrists down with one hand.

"You're not going anywhere. I haven't had my way with you yet," he hissed against my skin.

Seifer began to move his other hand towards the hem of my sweater and started to slowly move his way upward under the fabric; his touch burning my skin.

"The best part is," he said while still inching his way up, "is that there's no one here to help you."

He was right and that's what scared me. Everyone was in class already and my locker was located at the far end of the school where no classes were held. Tears started to well in my eyes but I refused for them to fall, I was already weak in the situation, I didn't want to give him more satisfaction, if I began to cry.

_Help me, please! Someone, anyone!_

But I knew that my silent pleas for help would be unheard. No one ever came to my aid. I should be used to it by now. Angels didn't exist, so why was I even praying for someone to rescue me if I knew by now that no help was coming?

I closed my eyes tightly so that I wouldn't see the lust in Seifer's eyes as he began to get nearer to his goal.

Suddenly, there was an impact that had me thrown to the ground. I still had my eyes closed, scared that this was another part of his plan to cause me pain. But nothing came. Seifer wasn't touching me.

_Why?_

Slowly, I opened my eyes, and I saw a boy I did not recognize fighting Seifer. He dodged all of Seifer's hits but Seifer wasn't so lucky. The boy was amazingly fast and got a few punches to in.

With one last blow to the face, Seifer went down. The boy leaned down to see if he was knocked out and seeing that he was, he stood and dusted off his pants. He turned towards me, eyes locking with mine.

I nearly lost my breath because I was drowning in his presence. This boy, who saved me, was my first real savior. His hair was a shocking blonde with spikes that defied gravity in different directions. But his eyes were the most enchanting part about him. Cerulean orbs, with a hint of silver were still staring at me.

Still mesmerized that for the first time in my life my plea was answered, I didn't hear his voice talking to me. I saw his lips moving, forming words but I never heard them.

"Are you alright?" he said, with a worried expression written on his face.

I jumped when I heard his voice.

_Why? Why did he save me? Angels and hope don't exist. So why is there one standing before me now? Why now has hope started to help me? Hope died a long time ago. Nothing comes back from the dead. So what is this standing in front of me?_

"Can you talk?" he asked me again.

I looked down at my feet and nodded. I heard him breathe out with relief. He started talking again.

"Can you tell me that you are alright and possibly your name?"

Shocked that he was still talking to me, I glanced up at him.

"Why? Why did you stop him?" I said in a voice barely above a whisper.

The boy looked at me, taken aback by my response.

"I stopped him because he was disrespecting you and I could tell you were afraid of him. You needed help so I intervened," he said.

"No one's ever saved me before; I didn't expect someone to save me now. I guess I was just shocked," I said.

"You mean he's done this to you before? Why haven't you told anyone?" He asked me. I could detect anger in his tone of voice?

_Why was he angry? _

All I knew was that I didn't like how this boy was making me feel. I never felt it before and it was starting to scare me. I started to walk past him but before I could go any further, he gently grabbed onto my arm. I spun around to only meet his mesmerizing eyes once more.

"Well, I'm just glad that I showed up before anything more happened. The name's Roxas. What's yours?" he questioned, handing my backpack.

I began to open my mouth to reply, but then the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I pulled out of his grasp and I sprinted away from him.

I ran into the classroom. Luckily it was my English class and no one was in the room yet.

What was going on with me? Why was this Roxas so interested about me?

_He's just another person that will cause you pain. Don't trust him. He can't be trusted. You never trusted anyone before so don't start trusting now. Angels, hope, and trust never existed before, they won't start to exist now. _

Sighing, I pulled out my journal to wash away the fear and pain. I needed to write badly. I needed to escape into my world where I wouldn't be confused. Confusion is not a good thing. If I was confused about how Roxas was behaving around me and what I felt around him, then I knew it was bad. He had already crossed over many of the boundary I had put up with ease and that wasn't a good sign. He was already getting to close to me. I needed to push him back to where he belonged; where I had placed everyone else.

_Don't go near him again, avoid him at all costs. _

_Trust is deceiving_

_She can turn on you _

_In a matter of seconds_

_If you start to trust her_

_Then you have just _

_Succumbed yourself to danger_

_Trust manipulates the weak_

_And when she has gained your trust in her_

_Trust goes in for the kill _

_And betrays you_

_Betrayal and Trust is the same person_

_You have handed yourself over_

_You gave into Trust _

_And in doing so_

_You silently killed yourself_

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**2nd A/N: Once again, I would like to say that reviews are much appreciated because it lets an author know how if they have captured the readers and lets them know that their writing is being enjoyed. When people reivew, I will personally thank them at the end of each chapter.**

**Snowyleopard: Thank you so much for being the first person to review for my story. It was a very sweet and kind note. I hope to have more from you. **

**Thank you all so much for taking the time out of your day to read this. please REVIEW it is greatly appreciated like I have said at least 3-4 times**

**timekeeper1824**


	3. Escape

**A/N: **Hey guys, I am so sorry it took me so long to post the third chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Once again, reviews are greatly appreciated because they help an author grow in their writing. I love to get feedback on my story and how I am doing. Please leave a review because they mean so much and keep me inspired and motivated to write more

Dedication: Again, this story is dedicated to my sister and to anyone who has suffered and gond through hard times. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel even if it seems to be only filled with darkness. The journey to reach that light is different for every person. I hope that you will all find your light and hold onto it. Never let hope fade away into the oblivion. Let it live on for Hope is always there to help you in your darkest times. May you always have hope and never lose it.

timekeeper1824

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Chapter III: Escape

Students started to file into the classroom, and Ms. Lockhart walked in behind them. I looked up from my desk in the back to look at the assignment on the board but instead of seeing the board, I saw only a mass of blonde hair talking to Ms. Lockhart. My breath hitched in my throat. It was the boy who saved me moments before. Roxas.

Panic flowed into me with such force that I didn't realize I was shaking until my pen fell out of my hand.

_Clank._

Just then, I saw him look away from Ms. Lockhart towards me. It was as though he heard my pen clatter to the floor.

_How could he though? I'm all the way in the back of the room and he's all the way upfront. He couldn't have heard it. Could he?_

Roxas was still staring at me until a voice interrupted his concentration on me.

"Alright class, we have a new student, his name is Roxas Yakusoku," Ms. Lockhart said in her cheery voice.

I sighed. I was grateful that she broke his concentration on me. I hate it when people stare at me. But with Roxas, it was a lot worse than what I normally felt when people were watching me. It was like Roxas was diving into my soul and secrets; it was like he knew what was happening with me everyday. The hairs on the back of my neck began to stand up. Every sense in my body was on high alert, telling me that he was not to be trusted and that he was dangerous.

Before I could delve into my thoughts further, Ms. Lockhart spoke again.

"Well, Roxas, why don't you go and take the seat next to Miss Kibou; she is sitting in the back of the room," she said while pointing him the way towards me.

Roxas smiled and walked towards me and sat in the desk next to mine. My hands were shaking uncontrollably now from the panic that he would try to talk to me. I turned my body as far away from him as possible so as to not look at him. It didn't work as well as I hoped, because, I could still feel his cerulean eyes, gazing into my back.

Before I knew it, class had ended and I shot out of my seat with speed that I didn't know I had. I grabbed my bag and started to walk towards the door. I needed to get away from him. I couldn't let him near me. He had already crossed over my boundaries and shield from out earlier encounter.

By now, I was sprinting down the hallway, not wanting to look back to see if he was pursuing me. A few more steps and I would be home free. But luck was not on my side today. Luck is never on my side or none of this stuff would ever happen.

Before I could make it out the doors to my designated spot in front of the fourth tower, a strong pair of hands stopped me. My panic came back full blown and I stopped. I never could escape before, so there was no hope to escape now because I don't believe in hope. I had always given up. What's the point of fighting?

The strong hands turned me around and my eyes widened. It was Roxas.

"Where were you going in such a hurry? You still haven't told me your name. I think you owe me that much," he said with a soft laugh.

I flinched at the last of his words.

_Please let me go. I don't want to be here. I need to get to my safe haven. I need to escape away from the confusion and the pain._

"You don't want to know my name," I whispered, "Please let me go, your hurting my arms."

"Why wouldn't I want to know your name?" He asked, confusion evident in is eyes.

"Because, it's not important, and you'll forget it sooner or later," I said.

He finally released me from his grasp. I was able to breathe again and I walked over and sat down on my fountain. I was about to take out my journal when I felt someone else sit beside me. To my annoyance, it was Roxas.

_Why won't he leave me to my own thoughts and to MY fountain?_

"Why are you still here?" I shakily demanded in a higher voice. It was the first time that I had spoken above a whisper in who knows how long.

"Hey, I can finally hear your voice. It's pretty; and to answer your question I'm still here because you still haven't told me your name. I'm not leaving until you do." He said, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

My cheeks flushed red at his comment.

_My voice is pretty? Why is my face red? Why am I feeling so anxious around him? What is he doing to me?_

The affect that Roxas was having on me was scaring me. I have never felt like this for three years. I don't even know what he's making me feel and that is the scariest part of it all.

Trying to hide my shaking hands, I folded them into my lap. I took a deep breath and replied, "My name is Naminé. There, I have given you my name so now you can go. Good bye." I turned to watch the water pouring from the gardenias.

The water was flowing swiftly down the pillars and into the vast base of the fountain, swirling and blending into the blue oblivion. The sound of the intricate trickles of water made a _pitter patter _rhythm. The afternoon symphony had begun.

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"The angel is very beautiful, don't you think?"

I jumped at hearing his voice. I thought he had gone away. I had no more classes today. It was my short day. How long had I been staring at the water before he inturrpted?

"You're still here?" I asked in disbelief, while trying to hide the fear and shock in my voice.

"Yeah, I thought you could use company. So, do you think the angel is beautiful?" Roxas asked.

"No," I said, "I think it is grotesque and unpleasant to look at."

"Why do you hate the angel? Aren't angels our protectors? Don't they provide us with hope?" He said, confusion painted across his perfect face.

I stiffened. I looked up into his eyes, only to wish that I hadn't. His oceanic orbs were filled with emotion, one that I was all too familiar with; concern. Ms. Lockhart gave me that look all the time.

I couldn't tear my gaze away from him and I quietly replied. "I don't believe in angels, I don't believe in hope. I stopped believing a long time ago. Hope was never there for me when I needed him the most."

I froze. _I did not just say that! Please tell me I did not say that. _

"I have to go," I said, quickly packing up everything I had taken out. Once again, panic rose deep inside my chest and settled there. This time it was there permanently.

"What? Why?" said Roxas, standing up to block my path.

I didn't answer and I began to walk around him. Before I could take a step further, Roxas took a firm hold on my arms. Pain shot up my arms and I let out a yelp. His eyes widened at the sound of my pain and he gently loosened his hold but not enough to where I could escape it. He gently moved his hands down towards the sleeves of my sweater and started to roll them up. I froze.

_No! He's not supposed to see those. He'll ask questions. _

Sure enough, my thoughts were instantly answered.

"Naminé, why are your arms covered in bruises?" He asked, anger edging into his voice. He gently ran a finger over one of the larger purple welts and I winced from his touch. His hands were warm and soft and for some reason, they brought me comfort.

"Who did this to you?" He asked, the anger was now noticeable in his voice.

_Why is he angry?_

With all the strength that I had, I pulled out of his grasp and ran for it. I didn't look back. I didn't want to see if he would chase me and demand answers from me. He was too close to figuring out the truth and that was not good.

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I ran all the way to the park and settled down on the grass. Tears started to come and carve their patterns down my face and onto my collar bone. I was so confused. Why did I tell him so much? How could I even let him discover my pain?

I needed to escape away from him. Roxas was dangerous, he already knew too much.

I was finally able to calm down and I took out my journal once again and began to write.

_Escape is a haven _

_For those who need her most_

_She provides a kind of protection_

_But the protection does not last long_

_For she only provides the weakest of protection_

_Escape does not last long_

_She is flimsy and fragile _

_And can only be called upon _

_During the times she deems fit_

_If you need her, _

_She might turn you down _

_And leave you to run and hide _

_There is no escape to the safe haven all the time_

_She will let you down, _

_Like Hope has deserted you_

_And like Trust betraying you_

_There is no true escape from reality_

When I finally finished, I realized that it was hard to read what I had written because the sun was disappearing. The sun had done its job. It reminded me of what was to come, and fear slowly started to pulse through my veins. Hope was nowhere to be found. I could not be saved from what was going to come. There was no escape.

I slowly stood up and started walking towards my pain and fear. Darkness and despair were waiting around the corner, waiting to make the leap and torture its prey.

If only hope existed, then I would be free of the darkness that consumes me everyday. I would have an angel that would save me from the dark and bring me to the light. If only I believed that both of them were real. But they aren't; no hope, trust, escape or angel has ever spared me from the pain, fear, darkness, and despair. I was all alone, and will always remain the alone.

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**2nd A/N: **Once again, reviews are greatly appreciated. It only takes up a moment of your time and that moment means a lot to the author of the story you review for. I am wishing that you all enjoyed the chapter. 

snowyleopard

lebrezie

MoonyPadfoot

Pyromaniacgirl

Kintora

MemoryPrincess

Thank you all so much for reviewing for my story. I hope that you will follow it until its end.

timekeeper1824


	4. Pain's Infliction

**A/N:** I apologize for the very late upadte. I am very sorry that I didn't get this chapter up sooner. I just have been very busy with school and hockey and many other things. Once again, I would like to say that this story is dedicated to my sister and to everyone who is suffereing from depression or anything else that is suffering. May you all still keep hope in the dark times of your lives and are able to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Please enjoy the newest enstallment of Condemned Hope. Please leave a review!

timekeeper1824

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Chapter IV: Pain's Infliction

When I finally reached my house, the moon was already sitting on its black canvas with the stars as her companions. They were an audience waiting to silently watch what was about to come.

Slowly, I began to walk up the porch step, dreading what was about to come. The pain that I was about to face was grinning madly like a Cheshire cat with what was going to happen once I opened the door.

Taking one breath, I reached out for the door knob watching my hand tremble violently as it turned the knob. I walked inside. Once I was in, I closed the door. I walked as quietly as I could, wishing that it would be enough to protect me, but I knew it would do me no good. The pain that I have feared for so long was here.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"

I looked up just in time to se the dark, lifeless eyes boar into my frightened ones before the hand that belonged to the pain reached out and hit me with a powerful blow.

My pain has now been revealed. My pain comes from my family; or what is left of my family anyways. My mother has been dead for three years and I have been living with my step-father since the accident. He has been the darkness, despair and pain in my life. He is the reason I dread seeing the sun rise and the moon set, because it is a constant reminder of what I live with everyday.

He is the reason that I no longer believe in hope or angels. I have lost all of my faith.

He comes at me again with his fists and throws me into the painted walls. I wince from the contact. I can hear the plaster crack behind me from the impact. I slid down the wall, my body curling into a ball as I hit the floor. I try to breathe in but a sharp pain is all I feel when I try breathe.

"GOD DAMMIT IT NAMINÉ, WHERE DO YOU DISAPPEAR OFF TOO? YOU ARE WORTHLESS AROUND HERE!"

I did not hear the rest of what he was saying to me. I was too focused on how hard it was to breathe. If felt as though someone had put a cement block on my chest, letting all of the air in my lungs to escape. The pain was asking me to plead for mercy to allow more of the refreshing cool air into my compressed lungs. Just as I was slowly gaining the progress of breathing without wincing, he came at me again. He had the advantage because I was still on the floor, my crumpled body unable to move. My hands were clutching my sides, but that did not stop him from taking his foot and repeatedly kick me in the areas where I was unable to shield from him.

Tears started to gather at the corners of my eyes from the blinding pain.

"You are nothing, no one loves you; you stupid little bitch. No one would care if you were gone." He spat. I could smell the strong stench of alcohol on his breath. No matter how many times I came home to him reeking of alcohol, I could never get over the wretched smell. He left after his last words with me and walked to his room on unsteady feet, slamming his bedroom door shut.

Slowly, I began to crawl up the stairs towards my bedroom. The distance from the bottom of the stairs to the top was a long excruciating journey. The journey would get longer with each passing day. Even though I made this journey many times before, it would always become more difficult to reach the top. It was unbearable to inch my way up towards the safety of my bedroom; but I made this journey every night when Pain decided to lay his infliction upon and mark me. This journey was worse than all the other recent ones. He hadn't beaten me this badly and with such ferocity in the longest of times. I was scared what would happen next time if I was this badly injured. The thought of what could come in the future made an intense chill filled with fear make its way up and down my spine.

I used my elbows as my support and slowly dragged my battered, bruised, and broken body up the stairs. A sharp pain went through me and I almost lost my gripping that was holding me up. Almost. I was thankful that my body did not crash on the wooden panels of the stairs.

After thirty exhausting minutes that felt more like days, I made it to my desired destination. I blindly groped for my door handle and slowly rose to my feet. My legs were shaking uncontrollably with great ferocity. Thankfully, I was able to open the door and lock it when I was inside. Cautiously, I walked over to the bathroom that was to the right of my closet. I went inside the marble room and silently closed the door behind me. I began to strip off my clothes to see the damage that was inflicted upon me.

When I stood in only my bra and panties, I gazed up and down my body. Bruises were beginning to form along my wrists from my earlier encounter with Seifer. Thinking of him brought the image of the boy who saved me to the front of my mind.

_Roxas._

I shivered and pushed him to the back of my mind. I began to inspect further. I looked at an area around my ribs where a nasty blue and purple bruise was quickly forming. I inhaled and regretted it instantly. Pain came after my short breath. He had obviously broken one or two of my ribs. I was going to be in a lot of pain for a while.

I closed my eyes and slid down onto the tile floors. Why? Why did hope abandon me? I opened my eyes again only to realize that I had been crying. I glanced at my arms and remembered Roxas's reaction when he slowly rolled back my sleeves.

_Flashback_

"_Naminé, why are your arms covered in bruises?" He asked, anger edging into his voice. He gently ran a finger over one of the larger purple welts and I winced from his touch. His hands were warm and soft and for some reason, they brought me comfort. _

"_Who did this to you?" He asked, the anger was now noticeable in his voice._

I could still feel those gentle fingers gliding over my arms. No one had ever paid attention to me before. Why did he suddenly start to see me?

I slipped back into my room and dressed into my night shirt. I took out my journal and pen. I needed to write badly. I needed to pour my pain into the pages that would forever hold all that I had written and never fade.

_Pain is the greatest fear of all_

_The inflictions he leaves _

_Marks you as his and always his_

_Pain will never let you go_

_If you try to escape_

_Pain will follow_

_And you will be covered with more fear_

_Pain is always hiding in the dark_

_Waiting for his chance _

_To capture you _

_And mark you as his over and over again_

_The pain never dulls_

_It only grows stronger with each infliction_

_Pain is the reason why Hope, Trust, and Escape_

_Are no longer real_

_But foreign names that you cannot remember_

_The only thing you know_

_Is Pain_

_And it is the thing you fear_

_For it is what keeps you in the darkness _

_And away from the light_

_Pain will always have you as his prisoner_

_You will never be released_

I closed my journal, set it on my bedside table and turned off my lamp. I got out from under the warmth of my covers and went over to the window. I opened the hatch and slowly began to crawl out onto the roof overhang.

The wind was softly blowing the leaves, beginning the nightly orchestra of music. I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged them to me as close as possible.

The moon shone brightly as if it was filled with sorrow. The stars silently cried with her by their twinkling lights. It was their way of apologizing to me for not being able to stop it. I knew that hope did not exist, but I knew that the moon and her companions felt my pain and despair, and that they wanted all of the pain to go away. I forgave them each night. I needed them too much to let them go. They were the only ones who knew what I felt. They were the only ones that cared.

Gazing up and staring into the moon's face, Roxas began to haunt the edge of my thoughts.

_Why? Why did he decide to notice me? Why am I not invisible to him? Why does he care about my pain? _

_Why?_

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**2nd A/N: **Please tell me what you think about this chapter. Personally, I feel that it is not one of my better chapters, maybe it has to do with the fact that I struggled writing this chapter. I hope that it meets your satisfaction and expectations. once again, please leave me a review. 

oh and one more thing. I would like to ask a question and i hope that all of you will answer it if you want to.

What is your favorite book/s? Personally, i have too many to count but, alas, my favorite would have to be Harry Potter. JK Rowling is a genious of literature. I know that all of you must be scoffing that there is another harry potter fan on fanfiction. Please tell me what your favorite books are because I would really like to know. :)

Please review :)

timekeeper1824


	5. Rain's Uniting

A/n: I am so proud that I was able to update faster than what I normally do! I hope that you enjoy this chapter because I enjoyed writing it. Like I have said many times before, this story is dedicated to my sister. May you find the hope that is needed and the light. Read and Review!!

timekeeper1824

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Chapter V: Rain's Uniting

The next morning, I was in more pain than I was the night before. The morning after is always the worst because you know that there is still more pain to come. However, it is also a sign that you have lived another day. Who knew that early morning has a gift and a curse?

Slowly, I pulled the comforter back only to meet the cold air of my bedroom. The bruises were more vivid than the night before.

Sighing, I stood up and went to my closet. I pulled out another sweater, this time an emerald green with a pair of cream-colored corduroy pants. The weather was getting colder since it was mid October already. Not only did I choose the long sweater because of the cold, but to also hide the events of last night. Covering the pains relieved me a bit from the terrifying reminder of what my life is like. When it's covered, I feel slightly normal. Slightly, meaning very little, as in smaller than a grain of sand.

I looked out the window, searching for the dreaded sun. But I couldn't see it coming over the horizon because the clouds were obscuring it from view. For the first time in a long time, I smiled. The sun was not going to mock me today. The clouds were making sure of it. Hopefully the clouds would bring rain. The rain is so beautiful to listen to. I love going outside and just standing in the rain. It wipes away everything that has happened. I can cry with the rain because they are the clouds' tears as well. No one would know whose tears belonged to whom. That is the beauty of it all. Something so simple can have an act of serenity on you.

I finished getting ready for what I would face that day. Thankfully, it was the weekend; I didn't have to go to school and face Seifer or Roxas. It was going to be only me and my journal. No interruptions whatsoever.

Silently, I packed all that I needed for my time alone in my bag and walked out of my room. I began to walk down the stairs but the movement shot pain up and down my sides. I stopped for a moment but not for long because I wanted to get out of the house before he woke up.

Just as the night before, the journey down the stairs was torturous just as it was climbing them. I could not evade the pain. It was with me wherever I went.

Finally, I reached the bottom of the stairs and headed for the door. I turned the handle and walked outside and I was greeted with a grey sky. No rain. I sighed. I really wanted it to rain.

I walked down the familiar path that I traveled each day towards the school. I was going to stay at my fountain, my sanctuary as long as the day allowed me to. Within minutes, I saw the fountain and I routinely sat at my spot in front of the fourth tower.

I didn't feel like writing right then, so I just closed my eyes and listened to the sounds around me. It was so soothing to listen to all the different sounds. No one really takes the time to just sit and listen to the simplistic life nature provides. I don't know how long I stayed like that, but it must have been an hour or so before I felt something wet hit my face. I opened my eyes and I gasped. It was raining.

I looked into the fountain and saw the most breathtaking sight. The rain was gracefully falling from the heavens and into the fountain water. When it finally broke the surface, the water rose up into the air and back down again, causing a ripple effect. If only everyday could look be like this. But it can't. It's too surreal to exist.

The harsh reality of my life came back in full force. Nothing was perfect. I wasn't allowed to have what I wanted. I never got it anyways. The events of last night came flashing back. My step-father, beating me cruelly, the pain of crawling up the stairs, and what I saw in the mirror from the end results.

A new wetness was gliding down my face now. I was crying.

My tears were mixing in with the sky's tears; two of us shedding our pain, believing that it will wash away. But it won't. We both know that there is nothing or no one that can relieve us from the darkness or pain we feel everyday.

I didn't realize that I was beginning to shake violently from the cold, but I didn't care. It made the pain dull down.

Sighing, I laid back down on the cool, stone surface of the fountain and let the rain soak into me further, while listening to its steady rhythm.

"What are you doing out here in the rain? You're going to catch your death if you don't dry off soon."

I immediately opened my eyes only to have them meet the deep oceanic orbs of someone else's. It was Roxas.

_What is he doing out here? No one ever comes outside when it's raining. Why is he out here during the time where I can be alone?_

I gasped and I jumped from the shock of seeing him. I made to get up and leave as fast as I could, but I slipped on the slick surface and fell backwards into the fountain.

Before I could even climb out of the fountain, a pair of strong hands grabbed me around the waist and lifted me out of the depths of the fountain.

Coughing, I looked back up into Roxas's face.

"Are you alright? I'm so sorry for scaring you like that. You must be really cold now. Here," he said as took off his jacket and draped it around my shoulders.

"Th.. Th.. Thank you." I stuttered. My teeth were chattering to the point that I could hear them when they made contact with each other.

Roxas smiled and started to talk again. "Look, I'm really sorry for scaring you. You really need to get dried off. I'll take you back to my place and we can start a fire and I'll throw your clothes in the dryer. It's the least I can do."

"You really don't have to…" but before I could finish, he took a hold of my arm and started to steer me in a direction away from where I came.

The journey to his house was quiet. I was too afraid to say something to him. I was afraid that he would bring up what happened between us yesterday.

Roxas stopped in front of a medium sized house with dark wooden panels. It was dramatically different from mine. My house was cream colored, and not taken care of. It was shabby looking. His house, on the other hand, was elegant and well kempt. I was curious as to what the inside would look like.

We walked up the front steps and Roxas took out his key and stuck it into the key hole. Once he unlocked the door, he led me inside.

"Wait right here Naminé, I'll go get you some dry clothes." He said.

He left me standing alone in what seemed to be the living room. There was a leather couch off to the right, an end table in front of the couch, and a fire place on the wall. I've never actually seen what a real fire place looked like before. I moved closer to it to inspect it. Smooth stones surrounded the sides of the glass that protected you from getting to close to the flames.

Before I could look any further, Roxas came back into the room.

"Here," he said handing me a long shirt and a pair of shorts, "it was the only that I had that would probably fit you. You can change in the bathroom; it's down the hall and the second door on the left." He said, while motioning his hand behind him, indicating where to go.

I nodded to him and quietly walked past him. The hall had many pictures hanging on the walls. Many of them were of Roxas as a younger boy. There was one with him, skateboarding in a park, and many school photos of him. But there was one that caught my eye in particular. It was Roxas when he was around seven or eight and he was out in the rain. He was spinning around with his head tilted towards the sky, with a wide grin on his face. He looked as though he was having the time of his life.

"Does he love the rain too?" I whispered.

After looking at the picture for a moment longer, I turned and went into the bathroom.

I undressed out of my drenched clothes and put on the ones that Roxas handed to me. I looked in the mirror at my attire. The shirt was black and reached down to the beginning of my thighs, and the shorts were red. I wished he gave me a pair of pants. I hate showing so much skin. I feel so exposed and uncovered. Luckily, the bruises were covered. I let out a sigh, only to regret it. I forgot about my ribs. How could I have forgotten them when the pain is so intense?

Picking up my pile of clothes, I headed out of the bathroom and back into the living room. When I got there, I saw Roxas sitting on the ledge of the fire place. He had started the fire and was staring at the dancing flames. The way the fire reflected in his eyes was breathtaking. His eyes looked as though they were a fragile glass.

He glanced up as though he felt my presence right as I entered the room. He smiled. "Hey, you look good in those."

I felt my face began to heat up. Why was it that when he smiled at me like that my face would turn red? _What is this feeling?_

"Here," I murmured, handing him my clothes. He took them and left the room momentarily and came back.

"They're in the dryer," he said "you should sit down."

I sat down on the leather couch and Roxas soon came and sat next to me. His scent was intoxicating. He smelled of fresh rain and cinnamon. _He smells nice. Ugh, don't think that! That it is just weird. _

I shook those thoughts away and focused my gaze on the fire. It was awe-inspiring. The flames were tall and smoothly tilting back in forth as if they were dancing to a song with a slow tune.

"Naminé," Roxas said quietly," we need to talk about what happened yesterday."

I looked away from the fire with wide eyes. I knew he was going to bring it up again, but I didn't think he would do it so soon.

I looked at him, "I don't want to talk about it." I said, my voice trembling.

"Well, I do. I want to know why your arms and wrists were covered in bruises. Is someone hurting you?" He said, his eyes narrowing at me.

_He can't know. He can't know what's going on. I'll be in more pain if he ever finds out that someone knows. _

"Seifer gave then to me." I lied. I hadn't spoken this much for a long time. How was Roxas able to get me to speak?

I made to move and leave the couch, but once again, I forgot about the pain in my ribs. I collapsed back down onto the couch, wincing.

Roxas looked at me, confused as to why I fell back down. Then, his eyes widened and glimmered with a knowing look.

"You're hurt somewhere else, aren't you?"

Before I could even say anything, Roxas leaned in closer. I gasped when I felt his hands slowly rolling up the hem of the shirt. His hands were cold; ice cold.

He inched the shirt up higher until he stopped. I stared at him, scared at what he was seeing. My battered stomach was exposed, showing him what it truly looked like.

"Seifer didn't do this to you," he said, while gently tracing his fingers over the damaged skin, "you weren't hurt this badly when I talked to you yesterday. This happened afterwards. Naminé, who's doing this to you?"

I looked away. I couldn't tell him. We sat in silence for a while. When I finally looked back at him, he sighed. "It looks like you've broken a rib or two."

_Thank you Captain Obvious. You don't think I know when I've broken a rib when it has happened before?_

"I'm going to tape them to make it more comfortable for you. Stay here while I get the bandages."

He left, and I stared after him. Tape them? What the hell does that mean?

He came back and had a bandage roll in his hand. He sat back down and lifted my shirt up again.

"Try to stay still." Roxas whispered.

Saying nothing more, he began to wrap the bandage around my midsection. I could feel it tightly pulling my stomach in and it made me wince when I felt my ribs move. It hurt so badly. The wrap went around six times. I've never had anyone fix me up before. The way Roxas was able to tenderly move around my skin was somewhat comforting and I have never experienced comfort in a long time.

He finished wrapping and we sat in silence once again.

"Thank you, for doing that." I said quietly. I was looking at him, anticipating what he would say.

He looked back at me and our eyes connected; dull and lifeless with vibrant existence.

"You're welcome. I'm just glad I found you when I did."

Roxas saying that he found me brought back a question I had wanted to ask.

"Why were you out in the rain? Usually people like to stay inside when it's raining." My voice was dripping with curiosity as I asked.

He kept his eyes on mine and answered, "I enjoy the rain. There's something about it that brings a type of calm to me. Why were you out in the rain?" He asked.

"I love the rain," I said simply, "it's just a way for me to escape from what's happening into a place where time stands still."

"I guess we have something in common then." He said. His smile was becomng too much to bear. I needed to get away. Roxas made everything a lot more perturbing when he was near me.

"I need to go." I stood to leave, but Roxas's hand coiled around my arm once again and pulled me back down onto the couch.

"You're not leaving. I don't want you to go anywhere else tonight incase you get hurt again. You are going to stay here for the night." Roxas said.

I winced at his tone. The anger was back in his voice, and it was scaring me. Roxas must have known that he upset me for he started to talk again but with a softer voice. "Look, I'm sorry that I got angry at you. I just want you to stay here so that I can make sure you are better in the morning; I need to rewrap you ribs tomorrow anyways. I'll pull out the couch for you. It turns into a bed. Sorry that we don't have a guest room."

"The couch is fine. What about your parents?" I asked.

"They're gone for weekend, still packing up our old house."

After that, he made up my temporary bed. I sat on the bed, watching the fire before he turned of the switch. The fire wasn't as fierce as it was earlier.

I couldn't believe how fast the day past. When exactly did we arrive at his house? What time was it now? I glanced around the room, looking for a clock and I found one on the west wall. It was nine-thirty.

Roxas was exiting the room when I looked back, allowing me privacy.

"Roxas?" I whispered. He turned around, waiting for me to say something.

Yeah?" he answered.

"Thank you for caring." I said, my cheeks turning crimson.

He smiled his perfect smile. "You're welcome, Naminé." And he left the room.

It was then I realized that it was the first time I had ever said his name out loud.

My bag was resting beside the make-shift bed. I unzipped it and took out my journal. I took my pen began to let it flow across the paper.

_Confusion is something that one feels often_

_But its presence is with you_

_More now than it has ever been_

_It is a feeling that is uncomfortable_

_You don't know what it is _

_And have trouble figuring out why _

_Confusion has presented herself_

_To you at that certain moment_

_Confusion loves to toy with your emotions_

_She enjoys watching you become disturbed_

_When she is in your company_

_To her you are her newest plaything_

_Something that she is ready to break_

_You break when frustration comes_

_You want to give up knowing what it is _

_That she has thrown upon you to_

_Make you feel so confused_

_Confusion always deals with your emotions_

_When you give up the want to know_

_She knows that she is _

_Victorious and has successfully _

_Fulfilled her assignment _

_To torment your thoughts_

I closed my journal and placed my pen in its home. I closed my eyes and fell asleep peacefully for the first time in a long time.

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2nd a/n: I forget to thank my reviewers last chapter so i will thank them this time. Thank you Kintora, Pryomaniac, lebrezie, SilentxXXxSatisfaction and all the ohters who have reviewed. I really appreciate it.

read and review. if you can read it, you can review it. :)


	6. So Close, Yet So Far

**a/n: I am so truly and deeply sorry that I havent updated in such a long time. The reason why it has been so long is because I lost a really close friend to suicide in January and it came as a real shock to me. I lost all motivation to write the story for a while because of what happened. But, I found my inspiration again. I cant stress how much it hurts to lose someone to suicide. Once again, I am sorry for being gone for so long. Anyways, this story is dedicated to my wonderful sister and to all of those who are having trouble finding light in their life. May you be able to find that light to lead you away from darkness and to also find hope. Please read and review!!!**

**timekeeper1824**

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Condemned Hope 

Chapter VI: So Close, Yet So Far

The next morning, I woke to the smell of something delicious. Was Roxas making breakfast? If so, what time was it?

_Time to leave. You need to get home so that you don't face a greater punishment for how long you have been gone. _

I quickly untangled myself from the covers and tried to get off of the bed, but in the process, I tripped and fell off the makeshift bed with a loud thud.

_Please don't let Roxas have heard that. I need to get home. I need to leave. _

Before I could even get up and sneak out the front door, Roxas came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on an old dish towel.

"Morning Sleeping Beauty, did you get a good night's rest?" He asked with his genuinely perfect smile on…

_Why am I thinking that his smile is… don't even go there Naminé, just clear you head of those irrational thoughts and tell him you have to leave. The important task is to get home as fast as possible so that you don't have a more fierce punishment. _

I shook my head to make my mind focus on what was needed to be done; I would have to ask questions later about what I was feeling when I was around Roxas later.

"Come on, I made you breakfast." He said and he turned and walked back into what supposedly was the kitchen. Maybe if I was quick enough, I could reach the door before he came back to get me. I quietly picked up my bag and started to walk towards the door that led me away from Roxas and his confusing presence he left upon me. It was so hard being near him when I didn't understand what was happening inside of me. I wanted to get away from it all. I no longer had one place that I longed to escape, but two. One being torture and its inflictions, the other being confusion and fear.

Just as I turned the handle and slowly began to open the door, it was slammed shut again. My chance to escape towards the other hell had diminished. I wouldn't be going back to him as soon as I had planned. Even though I was grateful for a mere second for thinking about delaying the torture for a little bit longer, I also knew I was terrified with what I was going to face behind me.

I turned around only to wish that I hadn't. Roxas's cerulean eyes were filled with anger, they were a much darker blue, like swirling storm clouds over the ocean; they reminded me of the anger that was always plagued into _HIS _endless holes of darkness.

"Where the hell do you think you are going? You're not leaving," he growled.

His arms were on either side of my head, pinning my back against the door, his body mere inches away from my chest. He was too close for comfort. I could feel the angry heat radiating off him.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow to come, but it didn't. _Why wasn't he hitting me? Isn't that what he wants? _

Slowly, I let my eyes open one at a time. He was still angry.

"Please," I whispered, "I need to go home. I've been gone for too long. I need to go."

"I'm not letting you go anywhere." Roxas repeated. "You are going to be with me for the rest of the day and then I will walk you home. I'm not letting you out of my sight." He hissed through gritted teeth. His fists were clenching and unclenching beside my head, ready to hit something, or me for that matter. I started to tremble at the thought of those hands digging into my skin like they did into Seifer's; last night, they were gentle, but right now, they were dangerous weapons.

Once again, confusion swept over me. How was it that Roxas was sweet and kind one moment, and then angry, frightening, and like _him_ the next? He was causing too much turmoil going through my head. He always had me questioning.

Not only could I feel the anger rolling off of him, but I could feel his breath on my neck. It was hot enough that it felt like it I was burning in a boiler. I wanted to get out there. I didn't want to face more pain than what I would when I got home.

"Please," I whispered audibly," let me go home."

I was still shakily holding my gaze with his own, waiting for his reply.

"No," Roxas stated simply, "I'm not letting you go." He said. His tone was coated with such finality, that I didn't press further. I nodded my head in defeat.

"Good, now that that's settled, let's eat." Roxas removed his hands from around me, allowing me to back off the wall and go around him.

"I'll be right behind you," he said bitterly. I guess I wasn't going to leave his sight after my futile attempt to escape.

The kitchen was lit with my nemesis, the sun. But for some odd reason, the sun's rays beaming in from the windows and onto every surface in the kitchen, were appealing.

I sat down the small, rectangular table. Roxas went to the stove with two plates and began to pile eggs, bacon and toast onto the plates.

He sat down across from me and set one of the filled plates in front of me. It smelled delectable. But I didn't pick up my fork. I just stared at my plate. I never had breakfast with anyone for a long time, let alone had I had anyone cook me breakfast.

"What's wrong, don't you like eggs?" Roxas asked. He had now switched back into the curious, caring mode.

_What is going on with him and these changing moods?_

I looked up at him, "No it's not that, I just normally don't eat breakfast in the morning. All this food is intimidating."

Now, he was back to his serious persona. "You don't eat breakfast? It's the most important meal of the day."

"I just don't have enough time to eat in the morning I guess." I mumbled.

"Everyone has time to eat something," Roxas stated, "well, better late than never, eat up."

I did as I was told. I didn't want to face his wrath again. I grabbed my fork and cut into the eggs.

Ten minutes later, when I finished my meal, Roxas stood up and took my plate as well as his to the sink and rinsed them before putting them into the dishwasher.

"I was thinking I could take you to a place that is really special to me today. I go there everyday." Roxas said while swinging his body up onto the counter to sit.

I looked up from the table, surprised. I thought I was going to be under house arrest here where I wouldn't be allowed out incase I tried to leave again.

_Where does he want to take me?_

"What is this place you want to take me too?" I asked him.

Roxas smiled. "It's a secret or a surprise if you want to call it that."

I frowned. I hated surprises. Surprises made it harder for me to expect what could happen. I guess that is why Roxas frightened me. He was unpredictable.

"When are we leaving?"

"In about an hour; I'll go get your clothes out of the dryer. I don't think you want to walk around in my clothes." He chuckled. Roxas launched himself off the counter and walked out of the kitchen to go retrieve my clothes from the laundry room.

I didn't move from my spot at table.

_Why did Roxas want to take me to a place that was special to him?_

_Why am I so intriguing to him?_

_Why?_

Why was the constant question that always came up when I was around him? It scares me that I don't anything about him. I hate living in the unknown. I feel unprotected and exposed. The unknown is an enemy to me.

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**2nd a/n also, i just wanted to say that I was unable to come up with a poem to end this chapter and i need your opinions on whether or not i should continue putting the poems in the story. Im having trouble deciding if they are too much or not needed. thanks! R&R!**

**timekeeper1824**


	7. Chapter VII: His Place of Peace

_a/n:_ **Well, here's a long awaited chapter. I actually think this is one of the fastest times ive posted a chapter after another one. However, I did not receive as many reviews as I would have liked, but you can't have everything in life. Like I said last chapter, I still think that that chapter is horrible and not written very well. But it needed to be posted. Well, on with the story. Dedication: once again, this story is dedicated to my sister and all of those who have trouble finding the light to give them hope. May they be led out of the darkness and back to the light. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!**

timekeeper1824

Chapter VII: His Place of Peace

After Roxas came back from the laundry room with my clothes, I headed towards the bathroom to change. I locked the door and turned around. As I began to pull off his shirt, I quickly caught a hint of fresh rain and cinnamon; Roxas's scent, his aroma. It smelled like calm to me, but it also smelled of caution. I had to be careful around him. I am too vulnerable in his presence.

How is it that he heard me leaving, let alone, when I dropped my pen in class the other day? There was something dark and mysterious about him. I just couldn't detect what it was. All I know is that he's someone not to mess with. He was dangerous. Roxas was like a bomb that was about to go off at any second. I never knew if he would become angry and harmful like the man who was waiting for me at my gates of hell.

I looked in the mirror and saw the bandages from last night. Just looking at the handiwork Roxas had done made me shiver. I could feel his fingers gently moving across my abdomen with such care and kindness.

I sighed, it was still a bit painful to breathe, but the bandages were helping ease the sting of the cracked ribs.

I finished undressing and put on my clothes from yesterday. I looked through the doors to find a brush or comb of some sort. I didn't want to pull my hair up. I wanted to leave it down; to cover my face; to make a curtain between me and Roxas; I wanted some kind of veil of protection around him.

I exited the bathroom and walked back in the living room to find the pull-out made back into a couch with Roxas sitting on it. He turned around right as I entered and smiled.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked.

He sounded really excited to leave the house. I was excited to leave; it could give me an opportunity to escape. As if reading my mind, Roxas frowned automatically. "Don't even think about running off. You are staying with me."

I looked at him shocked. _How did he know? How the hell has he been able to read me like a book?_

I was still drowning in my own thoughts when Roxas came over and stood next to me. He cupped my chin and tilted it upwards toward his eyes. "Please don't try and runaway. I promise you won't regret where we're going." He whispered. His eyes were pleading with mine. With that one simple emotion of the eyes, I broke; I gave in when I shouldn't have. I was already too deep and I had gone deeper into the dangerous unknown.

"Alright, I won't leave you; just promise me you'll take me home afterwards." I said. The word home tasted bitter as it left my mouth. I stood there staring at him, waiting for him to give me his answer.

"Done." Roxas said with a grimace on his face as if it caused him pain to say that one word.

"Let's go then." I said while I grasped the handle and opened the door.

As we left the house, I was blinded by the sun. My eyes adjusted and I saw that Roxas was now in front of me. He was striding towards the woods. There was a small path that leads into nature's depth. We walked in silence for a period of time until Roxas broke the eternal calm I was enjoying.

"Why is it you don't believe in angels again?" He asked curiously.

"I almost tripped over my own feet while he said that. "Ex… excuse me?"

"You heard me. Do I have to ask you the question again?" He laughed. He was walking backwards, anxiously waiting for my reply. He didn't even stumble over the dirt path he had lead us on. Roxas was like a graceful swan.

"Umm…"

_Why is asking me this again. I already told him. _

"My answer is the same as last time. I don't believe in angels because there hasn't been any reason for me to believe in them. I stopped believing along time ago. Angels are nonexistent because they have never given me their aid." I said. I whispered the last part to myself.

Without missing a beat, Roxas asked another question. "What made you stop believing in angels?"

"That," I spat, "is none of your business." I pushed passed him hoping that he would be caught off guard and fall, giving me at least a head start. I didn't want to go to wherever he was taking me anymore. I wanted to leave. But he didn't. Roxas was still standing tall. He was next to me before I could take another breath. His hand snaked around my arm, tightening his hold on me.

_How did he catch up to me so fast?_

"You promised you wouldn't run." Roxas hissed in my ear, causing my spine to shiver at the icy, frigidness in his voice. He was back to his second nature: frightening. This was it. Now was the moment I had been waiting for. Roxas was surely going to afflict agony upon me. I waited with bated breath, but the blow didn't come. Instead, Roxas was pulling me alongside him down the path. I sighed with relief, but confusion was still with me. _Why didn't he hit me?_

The rest of the journey flew by. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts about Roxas' behavior to notice that we had stopped.

"Naminé, we're here." He said.

I looked up from the ground and gasped. I was gazing up at one of the most beautiful buildings I had seen. I didn't realize what the structure was right away because I was awestruck by its stunning appearance. It was made of the finest gray marble and was surrounded by towering trees of many kinds. There was a tall steeple gracing the sky with its presence. The sides of the building had smaller steeples arching towards the back of the back wall. Windows sat under each of the smaller steeples. It was a cathedral.

"Well, this is the place I wanted to show you." he said. Roxas then turned toward me, lifting his eyes away from the stone gray architecture. "Do you like it?" he asked.

"It's phenomenally beautiful." I whispered.

Roxas smiled triumphantly as if he knew I would be amazed by the edifice's incredible appearance. "Come on, let's go inside."

I took a step back automatically. No matter how beautiful the cathedral was, I could not go in there.

"I… I can't go in there."

"What? Why?" Roxas said, confusion evidently sweeping across his face.

"I just can't go in there." I said through gritted teeth. If I went into the church, I would be coming face to face with the harsh reality of my mind. The holiness of the place would mock my non-belief in its guardians. I was not welcomed into such a place.

Thunder roared across the sky. The sun was hidden. Dark clouds had replaced the light atmosphere into a darker one. It was going to rain again. Roxas slowly walked towards me, his right hand outstretched for mine. "Yes you can," he replied softly. "Naminé, I have faith in you."

_Faith isn't real. It doesn't exist._

"You don't understand, I can't go in there." I was nearly on the verge of tears. I was scared and terrified of entering such a place and Roxas knew it. He could feel my fear radiating off of me.

He sighed and closed the rest of the distance between us. He grasped my hand and gently placed it in his. Instantly, I felt a sharp, electric shock course through my entire body. This was the first time he had ever held my hand. He had only tightly held my upper arm to keep me from running, but had never held my hand. It was warm and comforting.

"Don't worry, I won't let go," he whispered, "I'm going inside with you."

With those last words, he slowly began to stride towards the entrance with my beside him, clinging his hand for dear life as if it was my lifeline. He pushed open the door.

The inside of the cathedral took my breath away. It was just as gorgeous as the outside. Pews aligned each wall and at the end stood the altar. But what really captured my attention were the angel above my head. The ceiling was painted in a mosaic of angels; angels lying on clouds; angels spreading their wings for flight; angels smiling down on their viewers.

As I stepped into the place that I knew I didn't belong to, I wondered how Roxas could find this place peaceful. This place was making me shake uncontrollably. I heard soft chanting coming from around me. We were on the main floor of the church. Where was the music coming from?

"It's the monks. "Roxas said, answering my unsaid question. "They're below us in the church library. Look." He led me through a row of pews. As we reached the wall, I notice the banister. We peered over it and I saw the monks. They were below us in the church library just as Roxas had said.

"I come here whenever I need to think or be alone. Rarely anyone comes to this place because it is outside of town by itself. This place is like a second home to me." Roxas said, gazing down at the hardworking monks.

"Why did you want to bring me here if this place is so special to you?" I questioned him.

His gaze left the monks and was upon me now. "I showed you this place because I knew you would instantly fall in love with it."

"How did you know I would find it astounding? You've only known me three days." I replied hotly.

Roxas mumbled something under his breath; not enabling me to hear what he said.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Nothing," was his reply.

I felt a small pressure on my hand as he spoke. I glanced down to see what was the cause of the short pressure. Our hands were still entwined. I looked away, my cheeks flushed. As if feeling my uncomfortable aura Roxas slowly unwound is hand with my. The warmth was gone. For a brief moment, I was longing for his hand to find its way back to mine. I shook my head to discard that last thought. I stood up and began to walk towards the front of the church.

I was walking towards the altar when I changed my course slightly. No matter how much I believed that angels were nonexistent, I was drawn to their grotesque beauty, like a bee is drawn to honey. Beside the altar, was the statue of an angel. The angel was hunched slightly, but it did not change the fact that he was tall. In front of him, the angel was holding the hilt of sword in his long fingers. The tip of the blade was resting on the ground's surface. His wings fanned around him in a large wingspan. The angel looked as if he was ready to fight.

"He's a Guardian."

I turned around to see Roxas behind me. I didn't hear his footsteps come near me. It was as if he had no sound to follow each of his steps; it was just a silent glide.

"A guardian?" I asked, puzzled.

"Yes, a Guardian. You would know the term as a guardian angel, but the true name is _Argus oriri Lux Lucis _or Guardian of Light." Roxas stated.

"Light, you mean like sunlight?" I asked.

"No, light in this term means something of importance and that is purely good." He said.

"How do you know this?"

Roxas just shrugged.

I turned away from him and I stepped closer to the statue of the angel. An urge to touch him came over me. I reached out my hand and placed it on the angel's. Suddenly, a strong force swept around my body like a large gust of wind; except the doors were closed. Before I could remove my hand from the statue, the world went black.

* * *

"_Are you ready for your first mission?" An unfamiliar voice said in the distance. _

Mission what mission? I thought. I didn't know where I was or what was going on. All I knew was that I was lying down, my eyes closed, begging to be opened. But they wouldn't.

"_Yes sir. I'm ready." A second voice replied._

"_You remember all of the rules?" The first voice said again._

"_Yes, I remember them all." The second voice replied calmly._

"_Excellent. Now, remember, this assignment is particularly important. I cannot express how much you need to succeed in the completion of this mission. You will be facing dark and difficult obstacles." Spoke the first voice with strain. _

"_I'll do my best to complete the mission." The second voice said humbly._

"_Good. Now go."_

* * *

The second voice did not reply. Instead, my eyes were finally able to break the spell of heavy lids and opened. Instead of seeing the two people who were conversing with each other moments before, I was back in the cathedral, at the feet of the angel.

"Oh thank God. Are you alright Naminé?"

It was Roxas. He was kneeling next to me, his hands on my shoulders. He must have been trying to wake me up.

"Wh… What happened?" I asked.

"You passed out after you touched the statue. You've been out for about eight minutes. Are you okay?" Roxas said.

"I'm fine." I began to sit up and Roxas helped pull me up the rest of the way until I was standing shakily on my feet. I needed to get home. I've been away longer than I should have.

"I need to go. You said I could go home after you showed me this place." I said while Roxas opened his mouth to retaliate.

"Fine, but I'm walking you home." He said. He was back to his cold persona.

I sighed. There was no way fighting him unless I wanted to make him angrier. I nodded my head, "Let's go."

We left the cathedral and were met by a small drizzle of rain. I knew the sky would begin crying again tonight. She was weeping for what I was going to face when I arrived at my dreaded destination and fall victim to the excruciating punishment. I winced at the thought of what he would do to me tonight.

2nd a/n: **Once again, I hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter. I personally liked writing this chapter. Please leave a review I would really appreciate it.**

timekeeper1824


	8. A Glimpse of Horror

a/n: I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to update, but I have been in New York for a month improving my creative writing and so much more and I was computer deprived. I really enjoyed writing this chapter because it got my adrenalin flowing and i hope yours will flow too. Once again, this story is dedicated to my sister and to all other who are lost in the dark. May they find their way back to the light. Please Read and Review!

timekeeper1824

* * *

Condemned Hope

Chapter VIII: A Glimpse of Horror

We walked in silence the rest of the way. The wind was picking up fast; my hair was going everywhere. I glanced over at Roxas. His face was hard. I knew he wanted to speak about what was going to happen. I don't know how he put it together, but I feel as though he knows what waits for me at home. He wants to keep me from it. I turned my gaze back to what was in front of me. We were almost out. When we finally touched pavement again, I breathed a sigh of relief, but I also took in a breath of fear. I knew what was going to happen when I returned back to the house of terror.

I stopped. I was confused as to which direction I needed to go to get back. I turned around at Roxas to ask him which way to go, but I stopped my question from being formed at that moment. Roxas was concentrating very hard at the ground, as if he wanted it to burst into flames and ashes. His expression was still its cold, emotionless self.

"Umm, Roxas?" I asked, he looked up at the sound of my voice. "Umm, which way are we going?"

His gazed turned back towards the ground and he lifted his arm and pointed left. "That way, it will take us back towards the fountain." He said coldly.

I nodded and started to walk off to where he was pointing. Thunder roared in the distance and still we kept walking without speaking a word. The fountain finally came into sight. The water was swirling in opposite directions from the force of the wind.

I glanced up at the focal point of the fountain. The angel seemed to be mocking me. I moved my gaze forwards to the path. I didn't want to see the evil grin on his face.

To my surprise, Roxas turned left, heading east towards my house. He didn't even ask which way to go.

"Roxas, how did you know we needed to turn left?" I asked.

"I remember you walking from this direction yesterday. I just assumed that this was the way to your house." Roxas bitterly said.

"Oh." Silence proceeded after that. I did not want to start the conversation nor even wanted to talk to Roxas.

Earlier, the walk with Roxas seemed long and drawn out, but now, it was becoming shorter. I guess the saying is true: time doesn't stand still when something unpleasant lies ahead. Unfortunately, I knew what was going to come.

I was so in depth with my thoughts that I walked into something hard. I had walked into Roxas. He had stopped. I looked around him and nearly shuddered. I was at home. After two days away from hell, I had returned to its gates that were waiting with anticipated pain to the delight of the resident inside.

With one breath, I stepped out from behind Roxas and slowly made my ascent up the path to the porch. These past two days, were frightening, but in a different way.

I turned around to say goodbye to Roxas. His face still had that hardened expression. I don't know why he is so determined to keep me away from home. He has no idea what happens to me at home. Not unless he has figured out that Seifer is not the only one who abuses me.

"Thanks for walking me home." I mumbled. I turned right back around and grasped the doorknob. I didn't want to hear Roxas's angry yet calm reply. I turned the knob and the door slowly opened. I stepped inside the domain of fear and closed the door behind me. The click of the door, made me flinch. It was as if that one little sound reverberated off all the walls of the house. I knew that it would alert him that I was home; only time could tell when the abuse would start.

I drifted up the stairs into my room so I could at least prolong the wait of being found. He was nowhere to be seen and I considered myself safe for a little while longer. I pushed open my door and headed towards the bathroom.

Before I even reached the next door, I heard another soft little _click. _I stopped. My mind was telling me to keep going and don't turn around. Fear was overwhelming my senses again. My heart quickened its rhythm. I did not want to turn around; turning around would mean I was accepting the truth of what was to come. I wish reality was never as cruel as what I was about to face. Slowly, I faced my door.

He was there; standing in front of my now closed door. There was no escape. His eyes were menacingly boring into my own. I was frozen in place by apprehension of what was going to take place next.

He spoke in a low voice. "You disappeared for two days. Where were you?"

I shuddered. This low, dangerous tone was frightening me. I was used to the deafening yells of him. This new tactic of speaking invited more fear into me. Something wasn't right. I couldn't decipher why I was more afraid than ever.

He began to take a step closer to me; closing the safe distance with each step.

"I asked you a question Naminé, where were you?" He repeated.

I couldn't reply. My voice was no longer working. I was trembling before him.

He closed the distance and clenched his long fingers around my throat, shortening my air. I gasped from not being able to breathe and the pain of his hold on me.

"You're trying my patience Naminé, I've only asked you a simple question and I just need you to answer it." He hissed, more venom seeping into his voice.

I wanted to answer so that I could breathe again, but something was holding me back. A strong feeling was urging me to not say a word about Roxas or the mysterious place he had taken me to earlier. That strong feeling surrounded my being like an aura, stating that I could not mention of whom I was with or where I was.

"I… I was at school." I said hoarsely. He tightened his hold around my neck to another degree of pain.

"You're lying. I know you are. You will tell me where you have been." He whispered. After he finished, he threw me against the door. I gasped for the long desired oxygen but I couldn't get enough. He had released me temporary only to seize my bruising neck again.

He hauled the door open with his free hand and forced me through with his other. I was clawing at his hand to release me but I was met with strikes to my damaged stomach. Sharp pain travelled up and down my body. I now knew for sure that my ribs were completely broken not cracked.

He dragged me towards the top of the stairs and held me over the railing.

"TELL ME WHERE YOU WERE!" His voice was starting to rise again at my unwillingness to answer. The feeling consumed my entire being and mind once again. _Do not answer the question. Keep silent. _I kept silent. He roared and threw me over the banister. I smashed into the floor with such force that the ceramic lamp resting on the table fell over and crashed. Pieces of the lamp littered my body. I looked up, trying to keep my focus on him. When I stared at the spot he had held me, I didn't see him; I saw something much more terrifying.

The shape was that of a man, but more grotesque and disproportionate. Instead of human skin, it was replaced with a tinged gray scale-like covering. Four horns sat atop of the head like a crown. The creature's arms were elongated more than what they should have been on a normal person and talons spilled from each finger. Its legs were just as long and terrifying to look at. I slowly raised my gaze to his and nearly gasped. The eyes were a molten gold filled with death and despair. I closed my eyes because of the intensity of its stare.

I opened them again to see if the monster was real and still there. It was gone. He was back again. He jumped over the banister instead of taking the stares. I shut my eyes again. I didn't want to look at him.

I heard his breathing. It was fast and unsteady. I could here the tinkling of the remnants of the lamp. He was getting closer. I opened my eyes and saw that he was standing over me with the largest shard of ceramic in his hand.

"Poor Naminé, you didn't answer the question and this is the price you have to pay; unbearable, intolerable, and intense pain and misery." He said. He began to lower himself closer to me. With a swift movement, the ceramic sliced my upper thigh. I screamed from the attack. I could feel the blood seeping out of the wound. He came at me again and again assaulting other parts of my body with the makeshift knife.

Red was surrounding my vision. I was starting to go in and out. I saw the horrendous creature again. It was holding the ceramic that he was previously holding. _What's happening? What's going on?_

The monster leaned in towards my ear. "You are pathetic, human. You could never hold the _Sanctimonia."_

_Sanctimonia?_

"You're too weak." The beast ended

I shuddered. Its breath was as cold as ice and he had the voice of _him._ What was Sanctimonia?

The beast raised the shard positioning it over my heart. This was it, I was going to die. I thought of the cathedral and the angel in it. Roxas said he was a guardian. I closed my eyes ready for the blow to come.

A flash of bright light burned through my eyelids. I tried opening my eyes. I was too tired from the loss of blood. I was slipping deeper into unconsciousness.

"YOU!" the monster screeched.

Someone must have come. My eyes still refused to open. The bright light slammed against my eyelids again and I could see a rough outline of another figure. The figure had some kind of weapon in his hand. The beast then conjured up his own weapon and it began. Metal clashed against metal. The incandescent light was still there. I saw the battle and did not see it at the same time.

I heard an agonizing yell and an uncomfortable silence followed after. Was the creature gone, or was the figure the one who was injured? Again, I tried to open my eyes and I was successful. The monster had been impaled by his opponent's weapon; blood slowly spilling from the wound.

I heard footsteps and they were getting closer to me. I tried to turn my head to see the monster-slayer. I saw a pair of deep cerulean eyes. _Roxas. _With that lost thought in mind, I finally let the darkness take over me.

--

_The monster loomed over me. Its molten eyes were burning mine. It leaned and whispered. "You could never hold the _Sanctimonia._"_

I screamed and my eyes flung open. A hand came over my mouth to silence me. It was still alive. It was after me. I needed to escape. My body was now thriving to escape the beast.

"Naminé, shh.. Naminé calm down! It's just me, Roxas."

My eyes stopped darting around the room and slowly stopped on a cobalt gaze. It was Roxas. My body started shaking from relief. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I let them loose. I was crying.

"R…Roxas. What's going on? What was th… that thing?"

Roxas held my gaze with his. They weren't filled with the anger and harshness that was there the last time I saw him; his eyes were full of fear, and relief. He didn't answer my questions. Roxas was just kneeling next to me trying to calm me down. The next thing I know, Roxas wraps his arms around me and sighs. I flinched from the contact. I was still hurting. He let go and turned his face away from mine. He sighed again.

"There's no going back now," Roxas muttered. He turned back around and his eyes locked again with mine.

"Naminé, there's something that you need to know."

* * *

2nd a/n: well, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and i know some of you probably hate me for leaving a cliff hanger, but its vital. It will help me update faster (hopefully) anyways, please leave me a review. they are appreciated.

timekeeper1824


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